Who hasn’t wished they could go back in time and tell their younger self some life-changing advice? I know I have. Usually I only remember the mundane things: don’t eat a whole gallon of ice cream, stop picking your scabs, stop eating in bed, take a shower. But sometimes, I realize that I could hand down some real wisdom to my younger self, even high school freshman Mylie could use some tips.
Your parents will always love you. Yes, you are going to mess up. I know, it’s a crazy thought. I was once you, I thought I was going to live my life on the straight and narrow. Let me tell you, it doesn’t pan out that way exactly. That’s the thing about parents though, even after everything you are going to put them through (it’s mostly stress about your many teenager things) they will still love you and want to be there for you–even if it’s not how you want them to be there. Side note: you don’t have to tell them everything.
Cherish everyone and everything. You are going to experience different kinds of loss: death, suicides, falling-outs. There is going to be sadness and grief. It’s these losses that can remind you of everything you do have. They can also remind you how little time you really have with the people around you. Love them. Love them everyday. Do it in the little actions holding open a door. Do it in big actions like planning a surprise party for them. Just let them know that you appreciate them and always say “Thank You.”
Find a passion. We both know that you like to go through phases: the horse phase, the actress phase, eventually there is an architecture phase as well as a running phase (currently trying to motivate myself to actually make that a phase). Because of this, you had a hard time settling down to just one “hobby.” There was to much to do and to much to see to just do one thing. Plus, many things came naturally to you (piano and writing) and if they didn’t, obviously they weren’t for you. Don’t believe that. Persevere! Find something you love and stick with it even when it’s difficult. Push your comfort zone and use your fear of failure to propel you forward. Opening up to situations that can hurt can also lead you to something you love.
High school sports do not define you. By this point, I’m sure you’ve realized that you are not a star athlete. I don’t think you ever expected to be. But you are in volleyball because you like it. You have some fun years ahead of you! But some years will not be as good. They will leave you feeling broken and hurt. There will be a time when you don’t touch a volleyball for over a year. The important thing to remember is that when this does happen, when the sport that you chose over all the others does this to you, that it is just a game. When you go to college, no one is going to care if you started on your small town volleyball team or if you warmed the bench the whole time. You are not what position you played. You are not what the coach thinks. You are so much more than that. Realize it.
He is not “the one.” What would high school advice be without mentioning boys. Freshman Mylie, you are probably still swooning over your first love. He was your first kiss (if you count when you were so little it’s hard to remember). He was your first “I love you.” He was the person you thought (or should this part be present tense?) you were going to marry. And at this point in my life, that seems delusional. Let me put it this way, I walked past him today and I didn’t realize it was him until it was too late to say hello. Yes, this information is probably heartbreaking but you and him grow into different people. You’re already different people and you just don’t know it yet. You might be thinking, “if we had just been a little older, it would’ve worked,” but the you are not on the same path as him and there will be someone eventually.
And the one after him isn’t either. Movies got this part wrong. Sadly, high school will not deliver you your prince charming. I could add this bolded title another four times (and that’s just for high school) but it would just reiterate the same thing. You are going to find guys that you like and, sadly, they might not feel the same way. Or they will, but for many reasons (or excuses) a relationship would not work out between the two of you at the time. I would like to say that the whole dating / relationship thing is sorted out and a lot easier by the time you’re 20, but that would be a lie. One thing I have learned is that it’s important to not get calloused or closed-off. Be open to new experiences and people, it’s the best way to make friends and experience more of life. But also make sure that people can see the light that’s inside you. Building walls doesn’t just shut people out, it leaves you alone.
Your “people” are out there, feel free to be geeky. I know you have friends from high school, they’re actually pretty amazing and (if you want to know a secret) you still talk to some of them regularly. But one fact about Leeds High School is that it is tiny. You might genuinely admire and appreciate your friends but there is a chance that it is more out of necessity than actual compatibility. And that is totally fine, it actually teaches you how to get along with many different kinds of people (to a point). Eventually though, you are going to go to college. When you do, you are going to feel a little lost, but as a freshman in college that is just how you want to be. You are going to find other freshman who feel just as lost. You are going to find people that you just click with, people who you feel like you’ve known your whole life when it’s only been a couple years. You are going to find people who are going to get overly excited about things like personality quizzes, or demographics, or Harry Potter sortings. You are going to find people who enjoy going to the midnight premieres of movies like Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Moana, or Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens. You are going to find people who awaken some of the best parts about yourself, and you haven’t even realized it yet. Most importantly, you are going to find a family.
You are going to make mistakes, feel heartbroken, cry (a lot), and you are going to live and experience everything that leads you to this point. Maybe this point isn’t what you ever imagined. And, yes, your life isn’t perfect. Not even close. There will be daily struggles and pain that you will go through. But when you get here, when you get to the point where you are sitting and writing this, you’ll look around and see that it’s good. You’ve got your dog sleeping next to you. You share a wall with one of your best friends. You are surrounded by supportive people who want the best for you. No, the road ahead is not easy, but it is worth it.
My Day with Mylie 